Worthless.... who compliment me?

Sometimes I feel that this life is kind of… worthless in someway. When you’ve done something good, or you’ve had some achievement in your work, your study, no one is there to compliment you or at least say something like “You did so well!”. What I’ve been experiencing is that every time, every single time, when the results come out, people always tend to compare – ya, I admit I’ve compared sometimes, but at least that time I’ve set a goal for myself. I cannot understand why people have to go around and around asking every single person in the class how much they’ve got. That was just too nosy already!!!!

Sometimes, I just feel so terrible. When my friends did not so good, they always complain, and complain and ask me that why they could not get high mark, why they study but could never do the papers. How do I know !?? What the...!!!! They should be asking themselves, and see their attitudes in studying !!! The person always ask me to teach but at last minute always call me back to cancel; What the hell... and now asking me why never score so well!!! More, when they get higher mark than me, always the face like, “I can beat you” or “I do not know why I can get so high mark; I just anyhow do it” or sometimes even like “I did not put any effort inside at all, like... at all!!!” Damn annoying, okay!? And every time I got good results, it is always “Ah, you’re so good already” or “You’re supposed to get good mark” Like hell, I also put in effort in my work okay!!!

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Besides, now I’ve just realized that most of the people I know are so freaking care about people around them!!! Why they always choose when I go to sleep then start talking or playing... and some more even talk very loudly !!! What the heck is wrong with them!!! I’ve met people always concern about themselves; at first they always said kind of thing like, if you’ve got anything you want to share, you can always talk with me. But yea, when it comes to the time, bloody hell!!! They always push their story over, or sometimes just give the so... superficial answer like, “Just like that you also worry about?!” or “I did not know about that so I have nothing to say” or sucks like “No idea”, “I don’t know”. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, their matters come FIRST! Everytime the friend keeps asking me “Why that person always stare at me?” or “I think that one always stalks me, help me ask ok?” My god, just paranoid, just because you stare at them and kind of bitching about them that they would do the same back to you, and like, why you are so freaking important that people have to follow you!? You are not kind of person that people may die just to follow you; maybe you are just weird or trying to get attention of people that you imagine everything up!!! ... and more and more!!!

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Seems like no one really cares about me then ! My life may just pass like this for a while again...

Until when then I may have someone who really concerns about me and always be here for me, ... most of the time!