A moment to ponder...

I keep staring at the post-creating for hours, still do not know what to blog for ? Someone asked me this evening to write a PROPER entry... but I do not know what to put in.

I've been looking back my old diary, the hand-written version. It was full of confusion and loneliness I must say. Since the midst of last year, I think myself has changed. I've perceived the world differently; it was never the image of something purely beautiful like before, but now infiltrated with many hardly-acceptable "things"...

Some people say ignorance is bliss. Yes, I totally agree with that point; years before, when I was not even here, I did not use to care much about life: to me, it would be just simply going to school and fulfil your so-called "duty" - being a good individual in the society. But things changed, ever since I laid my feet on this land... wait,... no not exactly that time; have to be some months later, when I got the "feeling" and the "perceptions" about things here.

Life has become more and more complicated as I kept going on with it. (dunno whether it was because of MI that my mind has changed like this or what?!) As more things happened, I found out that I could barely trust anyone. One thing is because among most of the people, no one can ever thoroughly understand me from inside out (maybe I'm too complex or too demanding?); this is also one of the main problem that keeps making me feel "emo" !!! Who could be deemed as "true friend" for me? As I find out gradually that sometimes, most people around me are somehow ... faked... to some extent. Friends should be opened and trust each other, not hiding anything or planning anything behind one's back! That is my value ! Another thing which I found that I could not share my thoughts with someone is because, most of the people around me are - to me - kind of showing off people. Their prides are TOO HIGH in comparison with others'. The never take in concern about other people, how could I share something with someone who keeps looking down or discern others? It'd be impossible!!!

Haizzz... life recently is abit tiring, ... sad and lonely ! I want to have someone, yet maybe only one person that truthfully understand me, to talk to. It'd be good to have one you could rely on and share every single of your thought; someone who will be there for you and relieve you from the burden of life that you have to bear.
...

But I'm wondering when such person would come?